Another Stroke?

Visiting my family this weekend, a trip to the nursing home to see my dad was part of the visit.  Now that my youngest has started school, and living 6 hours from the rest of my family I’m stuck with just weekends to come and help out.  I’ve been lucky that my mother is still able to take care of herself as much as she is.  This trip my husband and youngest came with and we got to attend a Jurrasic Quest event also.  My youngest was super excited about that.

My dad has still been having issues at the nursing home and we’ve been dealing with – is there another place to put him?  Surprisingly my mother was told that the nursing home he is in has a five star rating and so he needs to move so that they don’t loose their rating.  I’ve been surprised with the number of times they call and tell us that he has fallen.  The stories they tell give the impression that despite being unable to walk without assistance when anyone is watching – he appears to be a super quick ninja the rest of the time and get to places and then fall down when they aren’t looking.  He is on their list to always be watched yet in the last two days he has fallen twice – and once last week so badly that he has fractured his hand…

While in to visit (Before the last two times he has fallen), we noticed on Sunday that he is now dragging his left foot behind him when he walks with a walker.  It appeared obvious to me that he has had a stroke again.  The nurse when questioned, said that he has been like that as long as she has known him, but also mentioned that she only works every other weekend.  I realized that means that this was the first weekend she had ever seen my dad, as he just moved to that section.

My dad’s medicine seems to be making him pretty tired all the time.  It’s pretty sad to see, but even with all that we can see small glimmers of my dad.  Strokes do change behavior and physical characteristics.  Seeing my dad drag his leg, and unable to stay awake to carry on a conversation reminds me that we have moved from the stage where my parents were caretakers to the next step where my brother and I move up to care for our parents (and our kids).

Buffalo and Deer and Snakes Oh My!

Growing up we had a lot of strange animals (no snakes actually, though we found quite a few)….   My dad would hear about something and run and get some animals. During grade school dad heard Bambi and Iabout a person with a collection of animals and decided he wanted one. We all loaded up and ran in to get what we could AND came home with a deer….  Pictured to the left is Bambi.  He was friendly and as long as he didn’t have antlers on, we could interact inside the fence.

My dad would try all sorts of things though.  At one point we had a crow that my dad found that would ride around on Bambi’s antler’s.  It had an injured wing, so the crow was perfectly content to ride around.  After a while my dad got more deer and we had a whole menagerie.

These were Fallow Deer, indigenous to Germany, and I’d swear my dad’s goal was to use them as lures to get deer to come closer while deer hunting.  We would have the local game warden visit each year to make sure ours in captivity were legal and not white tail (local deer).  Deer can jump amazingly high, so my father had high fences for them made out of old grain bins.  The only escape I remember took 6 men to get the deer back in the pen, and I remember the deer standing with all 6 on it’s back.

While picking up Bambi we also got to see an old monkey named SOB (mean! and abused) and some honey bears.  I wanted them SO bad at the time. My father tried later to trade for the honey bears but couldn’t make a deal.   I remember the visit by the guy with the bears (they are little bears), and the bears got loose in his truck and locked him out while he was dropping off deer at the time.

SOB ended up taken from his owner and became a test subject for the University of Illinois.  Even with all the odd animals we had and the quirky behavior my dad would never have abused an animal.  Even a dog we had (Peanut, and yes the matching dog was Butter) that bit my dad while he was trying to help with an infected ear, ended up going to a family with no kids.  The dog really had been ‘provoked’, so it wasn’t the dogs fault – and my dad knew it!

Later my dad and a friend tried Beefalo and decided it was GOOD! So they ran out and got two buffalo.  We got the girl who my brother and I named Buffy.  She was added to the herd at our house. Pictured below is my mother with the buffalo feeding chickens from the look of it.

scan0136It’s funny, at the time, although we all had a healthy respect for the animals and knew what each could do and when… we were in and out of the cages to feed them all the time. I’m sure I didn’t think twice about standing there to take this picture and I’m sure my mother fed the chickens, gathered eggs, and fed buffy and the deer like this a million times.

Buffy escaped once in my memory.  An owl got into the chicken coop and couldn’t get out.  As it flapped trying to get out through the top whole (an old grain bin top that had been cut off) – Buffy got scared and exited through the fence.  I’m sure that was a site for all the cars coming up the road.  Note: My parents do live on a dead end road and knew everyone around, but still a buffalo in the road on your way home ha
s to be a surprise.

IMG_9400Now as my dad’s memory goes, talking about animals is a way to connect.  Seeing deer, a snake, or the fact that my son decided to make a pet out of a frog he found at their house is a great talking point with my dad.  These deer were in my parents field! I do wish I had a way to show my dad pictures, I’m thinking I should move them onto my iPad to show him an image that he can see better – maybe put together a slide show of the things that he would find interested.  Konnor’s new frog, Konnor’s toad, the deer by the house, even his dogs (did I mention we had 32 dogs at one time growing up!)

We did have a few other unusual animals for short stints, but they always moved on quickly.  Everything from a ferret that tried to use a litter box in the kitchen to a a swimming pool filled with fish.  My father ended up with a pond filled with catfish that were trained to come to the sound of his footsteps so that he could feed them dog food!

Family Farms and Dementia

It doesn’t really matter what causes dementia, the problem is that it isn’t covered by health insurance! Most people don’t realize how expensive it is either.  A nursing home can cost between $5000 and $7000 or more per month for dementia care.  All out of pocket unless you qualify for Medicaid (have less than $1500 to your name).  For a farm family this literally means losing the family farm to pay for care.

Farmers that do plan ahead get Long Term Care insurance ahead of time.  (We are dealing with filing for benefits now.)  It’s paperwork, run around, and lots of work to get the benefits when they are finally needed – and that’s after they push the ‘grace period’ as long as they can.

Long Term Care insurance policies are also only good for a set amount of time – so the issue also becomes at what time do you enter the nursing home to use all the benefits without going over.  Basically what is the family members life expectancy, if you miscalculate you can still ‘lose the farm’.

We have in our own situation looked at other things, but the biggest issue is that we are stumbling around blind.  Whether you get an advocate, get a lawyer, or just get friends that have been through it, every situation is different.

For example, my father was in the reserves, but was told that he was serving active duty for 6 months near the end of his enlistment during the Vietnam war.  We are filing for benefits, but now we are being told it may not count because it was classified as ‘training’! Assets become an issue also and income definitely does. From the sound of it my mother would need to be destitute and live on nothing for my dad to get benefits? If he had qualified…

Anyone with suggestions on ways to pay for dementia care when a family members becomes unmanageable at home?

 

Lindsey Corbley – Edward Corbley’s Brother

I am including the Lindsey Corbley exert here from “A Standard History of Champaign County Illinois”.  I find it very interesting that Edward isn’t mentioned here, yet there is land in Vermilion County (Edward owned land with his brother) and Cannon is mentioned – Edward’s land sold when it was foreclosed on to Cannon.  I still keep thinking there is so much to the story!

Source: Full text of “A Standard history of Champaign County Illinois : an authentic narrative of the past, with particular attention to the modern era in the commercial, industrial, civic and social development : a chronicle of the people, with family lineage and memoirs

 

 

  1. R. STEWART

 

Supervising Editor

 

Assisted by a Board of Advisory Editors

 

LINDSEY CORBLY. The activities of Lindsey Corbly go far back into the pioneer history of Champaign County. He was here over sixty years ago and he endured the ordeals of life on the frontier. The years have visited his efforts with abundant prosperity. Material possessions have been only part of the riches of his experience. He has lived a life of honor, peace and industry, and now in his declining years, in his home at Paxton, he enjoys the esteem of both old and young.

Mr. Corbly was born at Garrard’s Fort in Greene County, Pennsylvania, the third son of William and Rebecca (Stephens) Corbly, also natives of  Pennsylvania. The records of the Corbly family go far back into pioneer days of the Pennsylvania colony. His grandfather, Rev. John Corbly, was a pioneer Baptist minister along the frontier line of western Pennsylvania. He was a native of England, but had come to America before the Revolution and first settled in western Virginia and afterwards in Greene County, Pennsylvania. He was instrumental in building the first church at Garrard’s Fort. This was a log building and other edifices followed it, while in 1909 the congregation erected their fourth church home, a brick edifice dedicated that year and named the John Corbly Memorial Church. The name was fittingly bestowed to honor one of the most devoted churchmen of the West. The proposition had been long discussed as to some appropriate memorial to this good and worthy man, and it was finally decided to erect a church which would stand for years and recall his good deeds and unselfish labors.

 

Rev. John Corbly was three times married. His first wife was a cousin of President Tvler. The fate of his second wife will be mentioned presently. His third wife was a daughter of Colonel Andrew Lynn, who served with that rank in the Revolutionary War. It was his daughter Nancy Ann who married Rev. John Corbly, and she was the grandmother of Mr. Lindsey Corbly of Champaign County. Mr. Corbly in his home at Paxton has a book, entitled “Chronicles of Border Warfare,” published at Clarksburg, Virginia, in 1831. The pages of that work contain the record of a tragic incident in which Rev. John Corbly figured. It occurred on Muddy Creek, Pennsylvania, May 10, 1781. He and his wife and five children were on the way to church, the wife and children preceding, when a band of savages sprang up from the roadside and fell upon Mrs. Corbly and the children. The infant in the mother’s arms was the first victim. The mother was then struck several severe blows, and not falling, was shot through the body by a savage who had chased her husband. A little son six years old and two girls, two and four years of age, were also victims of the savage onslaught. The oldest daughter concealed herself in a fallen log and witnessed all that transpired. She came out before the Indians had retired, and was caught and slain. The only survivors of the massacre were the father and the two younger daughters, who by careful nursing were restored. Both of them grew up, though one died later as a result of the horrible treatment she had received. The other lived, married and reared a large family.

 

From this and other facts it is clear that the Corblys took a prominent part in the early days of western Pennsylvania. During the Centennial year a paper was published devoted to the prominent pioneer families of Pennsylvania and the Corblys were mentioned in the record.  Mr. Lindsey Corbly’s parents spent their lives in Pennsylvania and his father died in 1875 and his mother in 1855. Mr. Corbly acquired his education chiefly in the school of experience, and since the age of sixteen has made his own way in the world. For a time he worked for an uncle who had extensive interests as a live stock man in Ohio. While there he was paid wages of $7 a month. He soon became known as the “boss cattle driver” for his uncle. In those days live stock was never sent by railroad, but always driven overland. One of Mr. Corbly’s early experiences was taking a large herd of stock from Missouri to Philadelphia. Much of the country in the Middle West was then wild and infested with lawless people, and he not only experienced many difficulties in getting his stock safely over the natural difficulties of the road but also had to watch closely against highwaymen who sought his money and life.

Mr. Corbly came to Illinois in 1853. locating in Champaign County, but two years later going to Vermilion County as a farmer. In 1863 he located in Kerr Township of Champaign County and gradually built up a large enterprise as a farmer and stockman. At one time he owned over 1,700 acres of land and his business as a land holder and stockman made his name familiar all over central Illinois.

Mr. Corbly has always manifested a public spirited interest in local affairs. In Kerr Township he served twenty years as township trustee, and was one of the members of the first election board at Gibson City and also a member of the first grand jury of Ford County. He was on the first board of commissioners who divided Ford Countv into townships and was a member of the board of supervisors when the University of Illinois located at Champaign. Politically he began voting as a Whig and became an original Republican at the formation of that party over sixty years ago. He has always been staunchly aligned with this party and has been convinced that the best and most enduring principles of real democracy are expressed through the Republican party. Mr. Corbly has had many notable friendships with leading statesmen and many prominent Republicans, including Joe Cannon, have visited his home. He has always been a great admirer of Lincoln and has had personal acquaintance with Generals Sherman, Sheridan and Halleck. The spicy sayings of Lincoln have been treasured by him and have no doubt had their influence upon his life. One of these maxims which he has often quoted is “never trade horses while crossing the river.”

On moving to Kerr Township Mr. Corbly selected land which would be especially available for his stock interests. There he reared his family, built fine farm buildings, planted shade trees, and many improvements in that section stand as a monument to his labors and early enterprise.

 

Since December, 1875, Mr. Corbly has been an active member of the Methodist Episcopal Church. He entered church work through the influence of J. D. Bodkin, now secretary of the State of Kansas, and Eev. James Goodspeed.

On February 24, 1856, Mr. Corbly married for his first wife Sarah Wood. She was born and reared in Vermilion County, Illinois, a daughter of Henry and Nancy Wood. Six children were born to this union, three of whom died in infancy. Those living are Henry L., William Sherman and James L. Henry L. Corbly married Julia B. Webber. He is now a retired farmer living at Paxton and his children are Mrs. Fay Flagg, Lindsey R. and Gladys. Lindsey Ross Corbly lives in Haywood Township and married Fay Goodwin of Ford County. Gladys Corbly is a sophomore in the Woman’s College of Jacksonville, Illinois.

 

William Sherman Corbly married Mary A. Yule of Saybrook, McLean County, Illinois, and they reside at Paxton. Their children are : George Y. and Lynn S. George Y. is a farmer in Button Township of Ford County and by his marriage to Jessie Jenkinson has a daughter, Virginia. Lynn S. Corbly is a graduate of the University of Illinois, a successful practicing attorney in Champaign County, and married Marguerite Clark of Paxton.  James L. Corbly married Ellen Sheehan of Ludlow. Their children are Frank, Ralph, “Jimmie Lee,” Owen, Ray, Elmer, Marguerite and Pauline (twins), and Irene. Of these Frank married Belle Jackson and they reside on a farm adjoining his father. Owen Corbly married Vesta Wampler and is also a farmer living near his father.

 

The mother of these children and first wife of Mr. Corbly entered into rest January 17, 1866, after ten years of married life. She was a good woman, a kind neighbor and a loving wife and mother. For his second wife Mr. Corbly married Mary A. Scholl. She was born near Saegerstown, Pennsylvania, daughter of Dr. Peter Scholl and Elizabeth (Woodring) Scholl of Crawford County, Pennsylvania. By Mr. Corbly’s second marriage the children are Fred M., Laura F. and Evelyn. Evelyn is the wife of P. A. Kemp of Los Angeles, California, who is a state officer of the Court of Honor. They have one son, Lynn, twelve years old. The mother of these children passed away March 10, 1907. On June 24, 1909, Mr. Corbly married Mrs. Emily Wait. She was born and reared in Vermilion County, daughter of Samuel and Elizabeth Copeland, natives of Ohio.

 

The daughter Laura F. married Oscar H. Wylie, a prominent Ford County lawyer, at Paxton, Illinois, who has filled numerous important public offices and for eight years was prosecuting attorney of Ford County, proving to be a fearless, honest public official. For four years he was Circuit Court clerk and recorder, at the time being one of the youngest officials in the state. Mr. and Mrs. Wylie have the following children: Mac, Howard, Evelyn, Emily and Francis. Mac, Howard and . Evelvn are all graduates of the Paxton High School, and Mac is a student in flip law department of the Northwestern University and also spent three years in DePauw University, in which latter institution Howard is, a student, and in the fall of 1917 Miss Evelyn proposes to enter. The two younger daughters attend the grade schools.

 

Ever since Mr. Corbly’s eightieth birthday it has been made an occasion of great family interest, one feature being the presentation of an immense bouquet of roses and chrysanthemums, his favorite flower, a blossom for every year, and another being the reading of a birthday poem composed by Mrs. Wylie. On the occasion of his eighty-fourth birthday, this tribute was so beautifully expressed and tenderly conceived that it deserves the prominence of an insertion in this history. In the midst of the loving family circle and with other friends present, Mr. Corbly listened to the following :

 

“Dear old father, with your beaming face,

Your kindly heart and whole-souled grace,

Your sterling worth as pioneer

Facing hardships without fear,

Always honest and square with the world,

Your banner for good ever unfurled,

That’s a record worth while, I say,

For this, your eighty-fourth birthday.

 

“Also, dear father, sweet is to me

The memory of thy charity;

Thy childlike faith in God and man,

Surprised at evil where thou didst find;

Hating deceit with all thy heart

Because for you was the honest part,

That’s a record worth while, I say,

For this, your eighty-fourth birthday.

 

“Again, dear father, I’ll say to thee,

That when you face eternity,

I would thy mantle of Christian love

Of charity like that above,

Should descend on those you love the best,

That our lives with good deeds may be blest,

And that our children may also say

Our records were good on each birthday.”

 

The record of Mr. Corbly has been such that no history of Champaign

County would be complete without its incorporation. He has stood for

the sound and worthy things of life in every relationship. On every side

may be found witnesses to his unimpeachable integrity and financial

responsibility. Some years ago after a fire in Paxton a few scattered

leaves from the reports of the Dun and Bradstreet Mercantile Credit

Agency were picked up. These gave commercial ratings of different citizens with credit attached of so many thousands of dollars to each one,

and when the name of Mr. Corbly was mentioned the rating was fixed in

the following significant language: “Good for anything he asks for.”

That his word has always been as good as his bond is not only expressive

of his business integrity but to all those other qualities which are sum and

substance of human character.

 

Mr. and Mrs. Corbly now occupy a pleasant and comfortable home on West State Street in Paxton. There they enjoy the confidence and esteem of a host of friends, and in the setting sun of his life Mr. Corbly has his good wife by his side, also has the solace of his children and the memory of a just and worthy career. It is an unusual retrospect which he enjoys.

He has seen a great and magnificent country develop before his eyes and with a most creditable share in its making on his own part. He has prospered, and at the same time has solved the intricate problems of experience, has reared and educated his children and has given them his own example as a guide to true and loyal citizenship.

 

Dementia? Brain Damage? What’s the Difference?

My father is growing old.  We’ve said he has dementia, but the true story is a little tougher to deal with…

At 16 my dad wrecked a motorcycle.  I’m pretty sure he didn’t have a helmet on, not even sure helmets existed yet – and I’m sure they weren’t common.  The story I’ve heard is that my Uncle Tom saw him wreck and ran to get the car.  He then drove him to the hospital, where it was expected my dad would not survive.  Dad had brain swelling (this was the 50s!)  and I’m sure the drs said there wasn’t anything they could do for him.  Amazingly my father survived though.  He was in such bad shape that my grandfather, being a widower farmer couldn’t take care of him, so my dad was sent to live with my Aunt Dorothy.  (She’s fairly colorful, so there are lots of stories there too)  I should mention the year I was born my father wrecked a convertible Corvette – TOTALED.  He was with my cousins Joellyn and Judy and they only survived by being thrown from the car.  It rolled over…. Luckily no head trauma then though.

My dad went on with headaches and more, growing up to be a farmer himself (and having me and my brother).  Not fond of medical care, my dad didn’t see a doctor for years.  I do remember a kidney stone when I was in grade school where my mother had to take him to the ER, but other than that, NADA.  Then finally a few years back my father has a seizure and they find his blood pressure is sky high. Not only that, but his blood pressure has been sky high for quite a while.  (High blood pressure can cause capillaries in the brain to burst) My father’s blood pressure had went on so long it had caused damage!

My dad is convinced that people die in hospitals, which leads him to try to escape every time he’s in one….  This has led to him removing his own IV and being found in other people’s rooms a few times and the inevitable calls asking everyone to come and take him home….  BUT at that time the drs thought they had gotten it under control.

Skip forward a few years and my dad has a stroke (they run in our family).  The doctors had a really hard time with the stroke due to the mass of brain damage (see the motorcycle wreck mentioned above), but finally they decided it was a stroke.  Since then he has had a couple as well as his heart valve replaced (because it was leaky?).

So when we look at my dad and know he can’t remember, or is having a bad day – how do you decide.. Does he have dementia or brain damage?  My thought is that dementia steadily gets worse where as brain damage (if the underlying conditions are treated) will  not get worse unless there is more damage to the tissue.

Even knowing all this, really knowing the cause in this case is just knowledge.  Does it help with his treatment?  Would it change anything?

I think my answer is yes it does change a little, I have his genes.  I need to decide whether I check off Alzheimer and dementia in my close family history.  No one else in my direct line had dementia, so does my dad or is it brain damage?  Is it my future?

I thin on my family tree medical conditions is something I need to start adding.  I think I should add not just COD (Cause of Death) but also major chronic illnesses.  My father also has Padget’s disease. I know that is hereditary!  It’s something I need to watch out for just in case I received those genes.

Do you track medical conditions in your family tree?